The truth is I don’t remember seeing you for the first time. I don’t recall meeting you, or even the day we met. But I remember the first time I noticed your smile. Almost too wide for its owner’s petite face, but it reached all the way to grey eyes that seemed to…dance? And for the maybe the only time in my life, I didn’t have anything snide to say, for just one second you took my breath away.
That day your smile changed me, and I haven’t been the same since.
I didn’t know that at the time, nor did I expect what would become of my life, or that you would have anything to do with any messed up part of it.
Neither of us could have seen this coming. No one prepares for it to end like this…
I didn’t know I loved you until the day I loved you, and even then what was I supposed to do about it? There were so many doors and the only one that was even remotely ajar was the door marked, “Keep It All Closed Inside”.
Y’know? I guess you do know.
I’d take it all back if I could. All of the pain; all of the lies, and all of the time we…I wasted. I always told you I was never gonna be good enough for that smile.
I tried to warn you; to warn both of us.
But it did keep me out of harm’s way for a bit. Harm has a way of tracking me down though, and locking me up in dark places, where no one can find me. You found me, and I wish for your sake that you hadn’t. For the confusion, and terror I brought to your life, all you have to show for it is my heart. Which isn’t worth too much I know, and is broken far worse than I ever was…
But it’s one-of-a-kind, and has only had one owner.
This… You and I, what we had, I’ve never taken it for granted. I just think it wasn’t supposed to be this time. I’ve felt you love me, so much more than I deserve… Now, one more time your love gives me strength, enough to be strong for you.
Another lifetime perhaps.